Amnesia

…type of gal I really am, watch this video below. I don’t know if because I actually had one of these things at some point in my life and had to watch Elmo shake his thang a million times a day, but I laughed so hard I was crying when I saw it.

I originally saw this on SplodeTV. Go there!

WTF?

This is almost as bad as FOX’s blunder with Michelle Obama last week. Let’s take serious news, twist the headline and then sell it as a shirt with our branding. Seriously, what is going on in the heads of marketing over there?

Who wants a t-shirt that says, ” Clerk plans to marry same-sex partner?” or ” Furor erupts over guns in national parks!” I’m not kidding here, if you go to the news site and click on the little shirt icon next to the video camera, you can make yourself a t-shirt.

It’d be nice if you could alter a headline to say, “CNN has no class!”

Furthermore, who’s the lucky soul who chooses the headlines? Will they get raunchy and more ‘tongue-in-cheek’ as time progresses as some asshat buys the merchandise? Why can’t it all be equal opportunity either? “Police shoot man beating to death toddler” has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?

Give me a fucking break will you please? This type of money making scheme would maybe work on “The Daily Show” or “The Onion”, but CNN? I’m officially cutting myself off from reading/watching news in all formats.

Someone please tell me when the world starts to end, cause I’m not going to know about it.

****This will contain spoilers for “Battlestar Galatica”, so don’t read if you aren’t up to date on the show. ****

In the comment thread of my “I Hate Ron Moore” post, Vince asks me why I currently hate the man responsible for one of the best shows on television. I’ve had a bit of time to reflect on why last night was so disappointing, so with a deep breath to control my rage, here we go.

I’ve been on board BSG since the very beginning. I’ve seen friends and enemies alike air-locked, or killed in senseless battles and accidents. I’ve been Admiral Adama’s personal assistant and have watched him grow in both stature and wisdom only to see every strand of strength whittled away in the brief moments of deeply personal betrayal. I’ve stood next to Caprica Six as she’s talked and fucked a deranged and selfish Gaius Baltar. I’ve shared in the disbelief and wholly disturbing personal secrets of Col. Tigh, Anders, Tori and Chief. I too was shut away with D’Anna and let fear rule my decisions when I was “unboxed”. I’ve felt the intense passion that guides Leoben and the frustration and curiosity that make Kara Thrace. I’ve also counselled and questioned every decision Laura Roslin has made since the initial destruction of the 12 colonies.

I am a part of each person, each crew, each cylon and have been from the very beginning.

With all that said, you can imagine my joy, relief and disbelief when Felix Gaeda exclaimed that the constellations were a match. You can imagine the tears of those overwhelming emotions flowing like a cleansing river when Admiral Adama confirmed we had found our new home. I danced in jubilation with Lee in the CIC. I hugged my comrades in the hangar bay, and I wept with those who have lost so much and for the first time in years have had something for which to hope.

Yet the moment I bent down and held the soil in my hands with Adama, and heard the familiar tick of an active Geiger counter, was the moment my hope turned into rage and despair. Couple this with the fact that I am now frozen in time for an unknown period until the forces that be decide I can continue the rest of our journey, and well, it makes for a pretty pissed-off Kate.

I understand the need for dystopia when creating a show or writing a novel. Yet, if you are like me, you have invested yourself in watching, debating and discussing this show. With those countless hours, entitlement arises that you are owed a payoff for your efforts. You should be allowed to experience the most precious of human emotions; hope. 

Apparently, Ronald Moore believes otherwise. I feel ultimately betrayed in that despite the relevant social and economic issues the writers have sprinkled throughout the seasons, they found it necessary to remind us that we are hell bent on destruction no matter how much we try and redeem ourselves.

We are destructive. We’ve known this from the very beginning. We know this as we read our daily news and surf our internet.  I don’t see why it was necessary to offer another glimpse into what looked like nuclear holocaust when it was exactly what we were running from years ago.

So yeah Ron, would you kindly go fuck yourself. I wanted to hold onto my happy ending as long as possible and just as you took families and homes away from my friends and foes alike, you took the only driving force capable of bringing us back from the brink.

Right now, my hope is gone as I sit upon my Earth and look out upon a wasteland I so desperately wanted to call home.

Part of me is relieved the series isn’t over just yet, but part of me dreads where this will lead all of us in the year to come.

HATE HIM.

The only drawback to buying this small house back in December is that about a mile and a half away from my lovely 4 bedroom abode rests a small cemetery. I don’t consider myself a very superstitious person, yet every time my little CR-V drives by the rusted, black iron fence, chills crawl against my skin. As a kid, I was told that you had to hold your breath when you passed by the tombstones, so that the ghosts buried beneath the earth couldn’t steal it away.

It was the police sirens that woke me this morning at 3 a.m. Thinking it was another vehicular accident on a nearby intersection, I closed my eyes and tried to drift back to sleep. I relaxed and cozied back up to my pillow with heavy and tired eyes.

That’s when I heard it.

Three sounds hit my ears in rapid succession; a low and eerie moaning, a scream from what sounded like a female and the first of many gun shots.

I’ve been awake ever since.

Please tell me that this is a dream.

Tell me that I’m lost in some subconscious imagery taken directly from too many hours of playing scary video games.

It’s now 6 a.m.

Although muffled through the thick concrete walls of the basement, I have heard intermittent screams throughout the last three hours, usually followed by the popping sound of a discharging weapon. Guys, for the first time in my life, I am deathly afraid. I don’t know how long we will be stranded here. I’ve had to make numerous trips upstairs to gather food and other supplies, and from what I can tell from each hurried pass by a window, we are surrounded.

I will do my best to update this blog as the slow moments pass, but I can’t guess as to how much time we’ll be stuck here, or how long the electricity will last. I’ve moved my father and girls downstairs and barricaded the doors with every piece of available furniture, but the only thing that worries me is the entrance to the garage. Given the weak point of the sliding glass upstairs near the deck and this particular vulnerability beneath, I hope I’ve chosen correctly. I’ve backed the Honda against the door, but I don’t know how well it will hold if overwhelmed.

I don’t know how many of them are out there.

I never thought it would end like this. I thought it would be some sort of biological or nuclear strike. Perhaps another terrorist attack that spiraled our country into a final death spiral.  These  are the kind of stories you hear in church that are supposed to guilt you into throwing a few extra dollars in the collection basket.

The dead aren’t supposed to rise from the grave.

If you can send help, please do. I don’t want to die here. I will protect my family until my last breath, but I don’t know if we’ll be able to do this alone. From the sounds of it, the neighbors have already been attacked. From the moaning that is growing louder with each moment, I am certain we are next. I was able to snap this picture of what we’re facing here, but as I listen, it sounds like this isn’t an isolated incident.

Help us, please.

…sponsored by Viagra.

I love Oswald. Voiced by Fred Savage, this blue ocotopus is charming! However, watching it today with my 3 year old daughter, there was an episode that made me double take. Granted, the innuendo should be flying over any toddler’s head, but it just got worse and worse as the half hour went on. I was laughing so hard I was practically crying.

See for yourself.

I had a lot of people come back and say they loved the slide show I did with the Memorial Day Parade pictures in Enfield, but a lot had difficulty loading the huge file. I’ve compacted the pictures and it should load a lot faster for you guys with hamsters.

Click here for the new version.

Let me know what you think if you couldn’t access the file before.

I’ve also added the link over to the right on Photo Albums.

I think this officially starts me on the dangerous and hedonistic path to “cougardom.” I find Ashton Kutcher very appealing. I do realize that Ashton is 30 years old, but this statement is coming from a woman who swore never to look at a man who was younger in age due to known programming faults in maturity circuits.

Now I find him yummy.

It can only get worse from here.

I got sunburned at the Beach. Yeah, I brought sunscreen. But I ended up putting it on all the kids and forgot me.

Yes, it stings.

Badly.

Hugs even hurt.

As much as I wanted to relax, I couldn’t with three kids. My aunts were a great help, but there is always that water, child, omg-where-is-my-kid, type of feeling while at the beach. Perhaps one of these days I can go by myself, although it was funny to see Allyson pick up a dried starfish and get excited.

It was a gorgeous day there though, around 80 degrees with a nice breeze! Surprisingly, there wasn’t a large crowd which was very nice as well.

I am amazingly busy this week, but I will try to update regularly, I promise!

On the first day where temps are actually supposed to hit 90 degrees, I’m packing up the three kids and heading down south to Rhode Island. Yes, I’ve brough sun screen! I even packed polish ham sandwiches with fresh cucumber and mayonnaise.

Here’s to traffic!

Here’s to sun and sand.

Here’s to finally being able to relax.