Out of Sorts

Because I would have called for my RMA a while ago and I would have had the distributor pay the shipping costs.

Let me make something perfectly clear.  I am not a Republican. Nor am I a Democrat. I am a law-abiding, tax-paying, middle-class citizen who votes according to her conscience. I guess most people would consider that an Independent these days. I’m a mix of Libertarian and Centrist. You know, someone who values rights and liberty while being fair and just to as many people as she can.

Part of what I do in a full time/day job capacity is plan out meetings and logistics. I’m pretty good at if I say so myself. In fact, I am currently getting contracts together for a customer event in Miami. You would think having an event in such a high profile place would be really expensive. However, with some careful consideration and just a little bit of effective persuasion and forethought, you’ll find people are willing to work with you on budgetary management.

So it actually makes me wonder how in the world the Pelosi delegation to the Copenhagen Climate Change Summit was charged $734.00 per room/per night? I’m am also confused how they were exorbitantly screwed up the ass by a hotel chain who charged a minimum six night stay for two nights of use? $4046.00 was spent for two nights/per person at the Copenhagen Marriott 5-star hotel. The total bill for the 60 member delegation ended up being around ONE MILLION DOLLARS! Why were family members and spouses were treated to lavish meals on my dime? (I don’t particularly give a crap they got their air tickets and hotel charges “thrown in”.)

Why in the name of climate change control, were they allowed to leave a trail of carbon footprints from the US to Denmark with nothing to show for it except some Botox smiles and waves?

Did I suddenly enter into crazy town or does this actually make no sense to reasonable folk?

I can’t describe how incredibly angry I am about this. I know tons of social programs that would kill for half of that money to keep their doors open or hire just a few more staff to take the pressure off overworked employees. What hurts the most is that this is ultimately coming out of every hard working American’s pocket. What makes me even more incensed is that Obama is starting a spending freeze on certain programs in order to play Robin Hood to the middle class. Why not start where the spending is the most egregious and abused? Why not start with a woman who has seemingly lost touch with what the word “frugal” means in a fragile economy.

I don’t think Pelosi gets the fact that she pulled the same bullshit the corporate CEO’s did back when they flew to Washington in private jets to ask for bailout money. I don’t think she gets that people are out of work. I don’t think she gets or cares that we continue to raise the debt limit and whore ourselves out to countries like China because we can’t afford our own system of government. It’s okay though — it will be years before our children’s children must speak Chinese in the classroom. If she did “get it” and did care, she wouldn’t be avoiding reporters questions on the lavish expense report she filed.

Government waste is nothing new. I realize this fact. As my anger subsides, sadness overwhelms me. I feel sorry for Nancy and this clueless delegation for the simple fact that they have no idea what it means to live in the real world. In my real world, people are starving, out of work and aching for a government who does what they promise. So far, I see nothing but crumbling pie crusts.

Like one of the comments state, I must iterate that I may have suffered a form of dame bramage from watching that, despite the toe-tapping.

WTF is a stanky leg?

So I was updating all of my pages on my site today. I just wanted to give you the impressive count of podcasts/specials I’ve done for 2009.

For Clarkesworld Magazine:

• Stories read: 8 out of 12 eligible published stories for 2009
• Authors: Desirina Boskovich, Ekatarina Sedia, Nnedi Okorafor, Nick Mamatas, Sarah Monette, Kij Johnson, Cat Rambo, Richard Parks
• Words read: 37,000 words

For 2010 – Neil Clarke and I’ve planned on doubling the podcast output. Released on the 1st and 15th of every month, it’ll add more content for you to enjoy. Some will be read by me, and others will be read by their authors.

For Escape Pod:

• Stories read: 5 since July 2009
• Authors: Genevieve Valentine, Nancy Kress, Nick Mamatas, Katherine Sparrow (Joint reading with other narrators), James Patrick Kelly
• Words Read: 19,000 words

For StarShipSofa:

• Stories and Poems Read: 8 since January 2009
• Authors: Ted Kosmatka, Mark Rich, Tim Pratt, Mike Allen, Charles Saplack, CL Holland, Aliette de Bodard
• Words Read: 15,000 words

For Fantasy Magazine

• Stories Read: 1 for podcast promo CD
• Author: Jessica J. Lee
• Words Read: 2000 words

For Mythic Delirium:

• Poems Read: 4 poems
• Authors: Holly Dworken Cooley, Lindsey Nair, Constance Cooper, Ann K. Schwader
• Words Read: 700 words approx

For Peter Hodges:

• Stories Read: 3
• Words: 10,000 words

For A Magazine Which Shall Remain Nameless Who Had Me Do Three Stories, promised to post them and then they disappeared:

• Short Stories Read: 3
• Words Read: 15000 words

Total For 2009

• Stories and Poems Read: 29
• Words Read: 98700 words

Holy crap! That isn’t even counting the other projects I had relating to voice over work, including company training videos and phone greetings.  You do realize that around 100K words is a standard science fiction/fantasy novel length. I read a whole book to you guys! Man, my lips are tired! :)

When you break it down, it’s a little over 2 narrations a month. Hourly commitment to a standard 5000 word story is about 3-5 hours after recording and editing, some were longer and some were most certainly shorter. So if I were to guestimate the amount of time it took over the year to podcast, it would be upwards in the 150-200 hours range. 100 hours would be if they all took 3 hours to complete. Again, some where really short, others were all nighters.

This is just mind boggling to me. The average cost and industry standard for a narrator to complete an audio book is around $150.00 – $300.00 per finished hour. Sometimes, depending on who you are, a famous actor or something) You’ll get paid a lump sum to read a popular book. So if I treated this as an actual business, and expected compensation from my clients, I would have made, (we’ll go with 20 hours of finished audio here) $3000.00 on the low end and $6,000.00 on the high end of that price range.

Haha – well here’s to volunteer work. May 2010 prove to be a little more fruitful in the terms of compensation. Mama wants a new MacBook Pro.

**Granted, I’m not going to say that I wasn’t compensated this year for some of the work I did. So thank you to those (you know who you are) who did. The whole narration compensation discussion is definitely a topic I will be bringing up later. There are some things I’ve learned which makes me kinda mad.

I am banning news from my computer. If something happens in the world, I’m hoping one of my good friends will clue me in. Only of course, after the facts have been checked through various credible sources, like, “The Daily Show”.  (Insert eye roll here) Why have I finally thrown in the towel? Keep reading, please.

This is a screen shot from my local news station’s website:

(You can click to embiggen)

Do you see on the lower half of the main content where is says, “Talk of the Town”. Yeah, now read that.  Just in case you can’t — here is the quoted text.

Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt; Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee; Britney Spears and Kevin Federline — they’re just some of the celebrity couples who have gone from wedding bliss to calling it quits. Now there’s talk of banning all divorces i…n the state of California. One man has set up a Web site dubbed California Marriage Protection Act 2010. What do you think?

The website they are pointing to  is this one: Rescue Marriage

Anyone with half a brain and who spends five seconds on the site, quickly comes to the realization that this is what intelligent people might just call sarcasm. Its purpose is to criticize the ban on gay marriage in California. If the front page didn’t give you a clue, the site is full of hysterical stuff.

This is a great example of creatively countering an ongoing argument. I think it’s brilliant.

The problem is that not everyone visiting the site (including news organizations) have the brains to comprehend satire. If they were able to discern, the question then becomes: Why is this “news” organization intentionally misleading it’s readers?

Is this really a platform for discussion? Would it have been better served to phrase the question differently? I don’t know, something like — “Opponents to the Californian ban on gay marriage have come up with creative ways to illustrate their points. What do you think? Is it effective?”

By leaving out both the link and misrepresenting the content, people immediately follow the logic that credible news site= credible web site on banning divorce. This “news” organization has crossed a rather interesting line that continues to grey. Day by day, the public (part of which contains a growing population that subscribes to the ideas of government conspiracy and messages of hate) is encouraged to open up debate on hot topics which center around real people. When a great majority of the populace is not above an eighth grade reading level,  it’s hard enough to have balanced conversation. Add what was once a reputable news agency blurring the lines of truth and sarcasm becomes dangerous.

It’s a numbers game and so far, the intelligent who can decipher the difference in cases like this are losing.

Update: I sit here wondering how many donations that the site has received (to ultimately help overturn Prop8) have been from people who truly believe in the cause of banning divorce. Tricking stupid people out of their money is both brilliant and sad at the same time.

So I was debating on installing Windows 7 and I saw this article on Gizmodo. This photo is a direct screen shot. Not photochopped. You have my word as a human.

Not only did the browser crash, but the computer locked up, making everything else I did useless. This is a month after a fresh install as well.

Just think, hundreds of thousands of children (even the ones raised by Republicans) probably didn’t shout out at the President of the United States while he spoke to them on Tuesday. They apparently have better self control.

I am not faulting the man for having disagreements. If everyone got along, we’d have my ideal Katetopia and I would be extremely happy. Once we toss this impossible reality aside, it’s not exactly unheard of to argue with people. They aren’t called “hot-button” topics for nothing.

Yet, what Joe Wilson fails to understand is that there is a time and a place. We are not England. We don’t have MP’s who vocally disagree with their leaders during session. We have always tried to be a courteous state in debate. When it comes to public discourse, there have been the very rare occasions where proper decorum does not win out. In those exceptional moments, like the one last night — most people are horrified at the lack of disrespect.

Which brings me to my next point. As I read the article this morning on CNN, I am always amused at the people who find this type of thing acceptable. There were attributed quotes to people who gave credit to Joe Wilson for his courage to interrupt the President as he had the floor. I’m sorry, but it’s these morons who find uncivilized behavior acceptable that should really be forced to take a class in manners and proper debate.

Unless you are a newbie to the whole “grown up” talking thing, it should not be surprising that even the most heated debates are structured. The speech the President gave wasn’t a town forum. There was no question and answer session at the end. There was no reason for this heckling to take place unless of course it was as suggested by some, preplanned. In that event, it would behoove Joe Wilson to just resign now. I don’t care how angry this health care reform bickering makes anyone. The basic rules of arguing simply state that once you’ve lost your calm, you’ve lost your case.

 If Joe Wilson wanted the attention of crazies, he certainly achieved it. I won’t be surprised if he’s hailed by every right wing talk show host for sticking it to the emerging socialist regime. If that is what he wanted, he placed his name and life long political ambitions in jeopardy. It’s quoted in that CNN article that more than $40,000 was donated to his political opponent in the hours after the incident. 

If his apology was indeed genuine (I’m tending to believe it wasn’t) and he wanted something more, I would respectfully ascertain that he lost all his credibility in two simple words. I didn’t know Joe Wilson before this, and it’s quite sad that I do now; and not from what he built or diligently fought for in his career, but for what he destroyed in seconds in front of the world.

I hate to follow up all of the fluff posts on this blog with something so dark, but I sit here absolutely compelled to write about this. I arrived home this evening and did my usual search of the news. As I scrolled through, a story caught my eye. I am not going to mention the title or the news site, only because it serves to prove a point.

Today, September 4th, against the wishes of a father who recently lost his son, the Associated Press published a photo of a brave Marine’s last moments. This wasn’t a flag draped coffin. This picture depicts a man who has lost both of his legs, is bleeding out, and being dragged away by members of his squad.

I don’t care what your political leanings are regarding this ongoing war in Afghanistan. There are some things that should remain sacred. This Marine’s father watched his son volunteer to protect this country. How awful that the last image he has to remember him by is gruesome and the stuff made of nightmares. Any parent would be devastated to know their son died bravely. To add salt to the wound by publicly offering up such a horrid last moment is depraved and ultimately unjust.

If I were a betting woman, this is what happened:

As the AP was neatly wrapping up these photos with the word, “EMBARGO”, stamped on the front, some greedy bastard was licking his/her lips at the amount of hits and controversy these pictures would cause. Oh so clever, he/she prepares a bullshit, CYOA excuse if general reaction gets out of hand.

As I briefly discussed this with a good friend, he mentioned being torn. Sympathy for the family who lost their son vs. dealing with wars too easy for the American public.

I am sorry, but for me, there is no question in my mind that sympathy and respect for the family wins that argument every single time.

This Marine was a volunteer.  This Marine was fighting for you and for me. This Marine died for his country.

 The AP essentially wiped their ass with any thought of handling this in a professional and respectful way and then passed out the shit stained document like it was caviar.

Don’t get me wrong, I agree that as a country, with the recent exception of 9/11, we are relatively sheltered. We don’t seem to care about fighting or deaths unless it’s happening on our own soil. When news of casualties both innocent and coalition are reduced to footnotes on news broadcasts, only to be followed by a news story that flip- flops are out to kill you, its no wonder people have tuned out.

This isn’t an easy war. If newspapers and networks weren’t balancing budgets by playing the fear game, news would be news again. Instead, this war and probably any future war takes the back seat until spectacular and gruesome images just happen to be caught on film. Then we remember. Scratch that, then we are forced to remember.

If anything, the AP is counting on both sides of the political spectrum to attach themselves to this controversy. The AP is also counting on the darker side of human nature as well, hoping that as the story gains momentum, it will bring visitors to sites carrying the picture if only to sate morbid curiosity.

However, and I’m hoping there are more out there like me, who will be appalled that any semblance  of conscience has finally left our news agencies so eager to make a buck and win pretentious awards.

There is always a heavy cost to any war being fought. The war in Afghanistan is no different. The AP had the decision to run a story without the photo and to most of us, the ones who do care, it would have mattered. Just like it would have mattered to a devastated father and mother.

And the only reason it matters now is because this picture is nothing but propaganda and dollar signs.

Rest in peace, Lance Cpl. Joshua M. Bernard. Truly, a most sincerest thank you for fighting and making the ultimate sacrifice for our country.

In the middle of the quiet night, when I am asleep, my car travels through time.

Don’t look at me like that.

It is the only reason why the clock in the dash has been slowly gaining time.

Let me explain.

I was one of those people who set their clocks far ahead in a feeble attempt to make myself feel better.

I’d rush out of the house, look at the clock in the car, freak out a little that I was going to be late, only to have the delicate kernel of memory engage and remind me that I had set the clock fast, so that I would be happy that I wasn’t tardy.

What?

In an effort to curb the insanity and to practice my, “holy hell, get out of the house and get to where you’re going” management skills, I reset the clock in my CR-V to the correct time. This was about two months ago. It was working well. I was getting to be a master. That’s until today. I looked from the digital clock on the dash to the XM radio that hovers slightly above it, and instantly noticed the disparity.

My clock had gained 10 minutes! In the course of two months, this car had done the impossible. It had found a way to cross the rift between time and space. And as I drove today, I realized that with the shift my car completed over multiple jaunts through different dimensions, that I too had interesting foresight. Behind the wheel, those ten minutes belonged to me. I could see that far into the future.

I know, this doesn’t seem like a whole lot of minutes, but it’s enough to win a football game, get out of the way of a speeding bus, catch a train, save someone from drowning, remember the crucial ingredient at the super market which will make or break a culinary masterpiece, grant insight to curb the words from your mouth in order not to have to say you’re sorry later, anticipate an important phone call… see this list goes on and on.

So thank you, my truly awesome time travelling car which grants me powers to see the future. I will not be resetting the time again. I will let you gain minutes and perhaps one day, I’ll be able to see farther than I had ever imagined.

Yes, I know this post will make me look like I’ve finally lost the last screw holding in my brain.

I’ve seen it.

**Incidentally, there is some truth to this story. While I may not have the time travelling or future seer powers, my car does continue to gain time. It’s very odd.

I’m not usually one to buy anything off of TV, but man, I think this thing really works and it’s totally cheap.

No bulls**t.

Thank you, Hot Chick. :)

**contains language**

Let me make something perfectly clear right off the bat– This post is not a slight on Jeremy Tolbert or Steve Eley. I am humbled and privileged to have read for Escape Pod. It’s all the  fucktards out there who need to have their virtual tongues cut out and smashed under very large and heavy rocks.

As many of you know, I am a narrator and a podcaster. I am also fucking pissed.

This last week, a story by the lovely Genevieve Valentine, read by me, was put up on Escape Pod. While I’ve listened to Escape Pod audio in the past, I never dived into the forums or comments on each. I usually got the episodes from Itunes.

As any curious narrator would be, I wanted to know what people thought of the reading. I’m always interested in constructive feedback to enhance my future narrations. If you thought it was deadpan, fine. I can take it. I’ll make a note and try to be more enthusiastic next time I’m reading about death. No, really.

When I went to both the forums and the comments on the individual stories on the Escape Pod site, I found myself barely controlling my rage at some of the comments. In case the entire Internet hasn’t been taught — there are ways of offering criticism that don’t include the words, “Suck”, “terrible”, “Bad”, “Boring”…. the list goes on.

It’s fine. A story may not work for you.  You may be disappointed where the author (and reader) take you while on your journey. You may find yourself wondering why you stuck around for the ending. People are entitled to that opinion.

What people aren’t entitled to be are assholes about it.  See: how to offer constructive criticism.

I was once a proponent of open commenting and forum posting. No one should be moderated. As I started my blog, visited Youtube,  read news articles which allowed comments, visited friend’s sites, and saw the pretentious, asinine drivel flow like rabid spittle from the mouths of inconsiderate beasts who should never have been allowed an internet connection, my stance slowly changed.

See John Scalzi — “Moderation Matters”.

John is happy that most of the members of his community are civilized human beings who pride themselves on having compassion and understanding for other members of this race.  It’s fun when you have an adult conversation comprised of adults acting like adults. It’s great to have lively discussions that don’t veer off into hate-filled, often unassociated tangents.  It stops being fun when scum start adding their drivel to the mix.

See, here is the deal. I don’t care you said nasty shit about me. Really, I don’t. What I care about are the people who pour their hearts into bringing you content every week. What I care about are the writers who are telling a story. What I care about are the producers and editors who are mostly volunteers and don’t get paid for their effort and time. What I care about are the listeners who have constructive things to say.

So really, to all the people who can’t stop vomiting up shit and getting off on their self proclaimed righteous verbal masturbation; fuck you. Seriously, fuck you.  Oh, that’s twice. You know I’m angry, now.

Places like Escape Pod who offer free content for the love of the genre, should be commended for their dedication and perseverance. Especially on the internet, where the term “asshole” is not only a state of mind, but now comes in anonymous flavor packs.

For the record, if you read this Genevieve, and countless others who’ve been ripped apart by people who really should be wearing muzzles and straight jackets and locked in rubber rooms:

From the bottom of my heart, thank you for writing, producing, narrating and editing.