Out of Sorts

When I was a child, my mother started a very cool tradition. Every year, my brother and I along with my parents would select new Christmas tree ornaments. One for each of us. It could be something that represented you, a piece of pop-culture that you liked or something pretty.

Being the wicked cool mom that I am, I’ve decided to pass that tradition on to my children. This year as we perused the aisles of Target, an ornament caught my eye.

I liked it because it was kinda cute. Who wouldn’t love a portly, pink pig with cow spots, carrying a heart? To top it off, it’s wearing a crown and glittery angel wings.

Wait, wha?

It’s a loving, fairy princess cow pig. That’s totally friggen awesome.

To get the deeper meaning though, I initially took it as a referral to the mantra “When pigs fly.” That makes the whole thing even funnier because if you’ll notice at the top, it says “Sentimental Memories Collection”. So I guess my question is, for whom would you buy this and why? I bought it cause it’s a mystery, kinda like me.

But ultimately, if you’re buying it for someone else, what exactly are you telling them? Cue imaginary conversation in my head:

Me: I thought of you when I bought this ornament.

You: *Looks quizzically at ornament.*

Me: Yeah, it’s a loving fairy princess cow pig.

You: Are you saying I remind you of a loving fairy princess cow pig?

Me: Um, no. I wasn’t implying…um, okay, how about thinking of it as a statement? “Pigs have finally flown!”

You: Just what are you saying? How could you be that cruel? I said I was eventually going to stop having dream sex with Mike Rowe!

Me: Nevermind. *smash smash smash* Ow, my eye!

Conversations aside, the loving fairy cow pig is going on my damn tree.

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