Today, I hate everything. Corner me and you’re going to get claws across the face. While the reasons for my departure from social niceties will remain private, as there are many, I will just warn anyone who wants to make me angry, to prepare for the consequences.

By consquences, I mean:

Yelling. I will yell at the top of my lungs at you. Those of you who know me, understand that while I will get frustrated with things, I’m usually pretty calm. To get me to raise my voice, is something that you will never ever forget.

I will ignore you.

I will come at you with the acidity of a million lemons, debating you into a corner until your face melts ala that poor sap in the original Indiana Jones finale. People tell me that it hurts.

I will bring up every single injustice that I’ve ever been through with you in our relationship until you will not be able to remember one single happy memory. People prefer the mythical Azkaban prison in the Harry Potter novels to my wrath. Some even prefer the Dementor’s Kiss to my rage.

Like an elephant, I will never forget what you did to make me so enraged as to complete any of the above listed.

Consider yourself warned.